Mama, are your thoughts holding you back?

Because you care about doing a good job, it means you are doing a good job.

Up late at night in bed, the light from your phone shines on your tired face, anxious thoughts consuming you as you search for the right keywords to search the internet to find any confirmation that you are doing a good job in this mummy job.

Slowly, you put the phone face down on the table beside you, feeling somewhat dissatisfied that all you found were forums of other mum’s asking the same questions, and articles from the experts that you want to believe and yet, they don’t really know you. How do they know you are doing a good job?

No, I’m not stalking you.

I am that mum. Well, not as much as before, I’m getting better.

You see, when someone really cares about something, they strive to do the best they can. Though with parenting, there are no manuals to guide us. We see the pretty pictures on Pinterest, we compare ourselves to the mums down the street, we judge ourselves on the behaviour of our children and what we think our kids should behave like.

We question anyone who says we are doing a great job. Thoughts like “oh if they only knew the truth” or “they are just pitying me” dampen any glimpse of encouragement those rare moments offered.

But we really need that encouragement! Confirmation that we are really doing a good job, that we aren’t damaging our children beyond repair!

One thing that really hit home to me. I said this to a client though I realised it was as much for me as it was my client. The words just rolled out of my mouth before I realised how big they were.

This is what I said:

Because you care about doing a good job, it means you are doing a good job.

I realised then that if I didn’t care, I wouldn’t be trying to do a good job. Though because I am trying, it means I am doing the best job I can do.

I realised then that as a mum, I need to have to want to strive for excellence, not perfection.

Are your thoughts holding you back?

Sure thing! Easier said than done though!

So I got my creative on. I made a shift your thoughts worksheet to help me to reshape my thoughts so they would actually help.


And you know what? It makes such a big difference!

When striving for perfection I experience

  • discouragement
  • disappointment
  • hopelessness
  • powerlessness
  • anxiety
  • stress
  • depression

When I strive for excellence, I experience:

  • hope
  • encouragement
  • empowerment
  • peace
  • joy
  • relief
  • resolution

You see perfection has a specific purpose, though one we can’t possibly reach, and that is the sole focus to the detriment to all around us.

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Excellence, however, has a specific purpose that we know we won’t reach, though the focus is on the journey, the experiences, and the people we meet along the way.

How does that sound to you?

Would you like to go to bed satisfied that you did the best you could today and look forward to taking on the challenge again tomorrow?

Do you need to shift this mindset that’s been holding you captive for so long?

If I can do it, then you can do it too!

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Mums need encouragement too

Mum, strive for excellence!


  1. Nicole

    I am trying to be a mindful mom. I focus on staying in the moment. This post really helped.

    1. intentionalfamilies

      Well done Nicole! It is so hard to stay in the moment, especially when the moments tend to add up. Glad to hear this was of some help x

    1. intentionalfamilies

      Hey Brooke!
      Are you striving for excellence or perfection? I hope you have found some peace 🙂

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